I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Of course I have a pirate flag
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
