Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Terrible idea I love it
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
