Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
God, I missed his penis.
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