Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
