and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
