she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
