So drunk its hurt
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize