My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
