Writing my paper on freud at bar
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Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
