No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize