First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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