Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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