ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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