You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sorry about my life...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
