can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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