I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
