Kiss
Puke
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
