Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
