I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
