So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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