I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize