Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
