Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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