So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize