If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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