Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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