Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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