he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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