my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
