I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
