Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
