I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
