Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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