I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i now understand why vodka
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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