Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
