do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
COCAINE IS GR8
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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