I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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