i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
