I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
