u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think I died a long time ago.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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