omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
