just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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