just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
