Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
