Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
