Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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