I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
