no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
