He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
