i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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