We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
