I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
you made out with another girl for some wings
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize