What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
