help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
