He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
