Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
