As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
