I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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