Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
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