New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
