I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize