I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
