at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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